i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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