haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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