and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
