I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
