he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
