Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
