now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
