Christians are straight up FREAKS
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
