i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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