A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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