He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
As shirtless as possible
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We're not piercing ourselves today.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
