Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
this boner is exhausting
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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