I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen