You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.