you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.