I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
