He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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