the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
