i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize