Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
