Say something about gay babies.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize