My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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