8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
