They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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