Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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