cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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