On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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