if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
