ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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