haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
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