ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
