You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You can't just leave with hair like that
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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