The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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