Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize