I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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