It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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