yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
