i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
