Barsexuality is the new black.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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