What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
