I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
