Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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