So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
