ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
