She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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