I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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