Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
