I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize