I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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