You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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