They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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