If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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