You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
