I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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