What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
