so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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