I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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