idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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