She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
